Hear us when we emphatically state that no control environment is spiritually healthy. None. All control environments are in fact an evidence of unresolved sin. Are we speaking about God-given convictions? Not at all. Godly men and women have profound convictions. But when in the name of conviction we are controlling others, we can be sure that the “conviction” does not come from God. It comes from an unresolved life issue. Don’t stay in an environment where those in responsible places need to control. No matter how godly they may seem, their influence is like spiritual kryptonite. It slowly drains away our joy and leaves us forgetting who we really are. Controllers get their way because someone submits to them. Controllers play off of the despair of a person who feels helpless, out of control, unable to fix his or her life. These victims tell themselves, “All somebody has to do is to tell me how to live and then I can hold them responsible for my life.” Now the deal is struck and the unspoken agreement between victim and his or her controller begins.
When we have unresolved sin, we rob others of the opportunity to heal and mature in those same areas of our unresolved sin. One of the greatest opportunities we have as humans is to give others hope that the painful and destructive issue of life can be resolved. But if we have unresolved sin, we can never transfer the reality of that hope. We also cannot give direction or true correction to others struggling with sin when we are trapped in our own. Whew! Take a moment to contemplate the reality of that last sentence on those you influence.
(Quotes are from TrueFaced: Trust God and Others With Who You Really Are by Thrall, McNicol, and Lynch)